brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
