There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
