I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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