chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
