whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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