I wish I could punch you in the face.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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