why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
