You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize