Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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