So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
