I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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