i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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