Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
They are going to name an STD after you.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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