CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
