If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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