i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize