You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Watching her eat just hurts me
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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