i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
