used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
