people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
