Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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