I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Drunk is not a location!
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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