talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
