I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He felt like a one man threesome
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
