don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
