I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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