i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
