She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
