I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
