That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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