he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
