I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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