Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
