I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize