it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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