yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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