there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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