Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
