The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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