Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize