bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
