he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
