i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
