I puked a lego.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
