Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
