Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize