if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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