It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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