the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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