I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
