I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
