i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
