i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
