We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
