it was like his penis was on wheels.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
COCAINE IS GR8
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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