in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
