bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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