Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
