The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
