Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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