All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
