It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
