Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.

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(954): View more from Florida

I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"

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(415): View more from California

Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.

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(712): View more from Iowa

You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.

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(206): View more from Washington

Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.

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(743): View more from

Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.

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(587): View more from Alberta

The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...

(1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

your aware she lit herself on fire, right?

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(870): View more from Arkansas

just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student

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