Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
