I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
