I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
