so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i dont even know how to be here
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
