As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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