I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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