so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
