I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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