That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
The struggles of a small town man whore
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
