Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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