You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
