I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
