I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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