the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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